Introversion & Social Anxiety
Maybe nothing's "wrong."
Work functions, parties, presentations—to some these are simply everyday events.
You however dread them, find them draining and avoid them when possible.
It’s not a choice to be wired this way.
Not everyone has the same capacity to experience social stimulation. We’re all influenced by the nervous system we’re born with and the environments where we’re raised. Regardless of how we came to our place on the social energy spectrum, there’s nothing inherently “wrong” with our template.
Needing downtime, finding small talk boring or challenging and preferring smaller gatherings—none of these are a crime. That said, many of us have been apologizing for our natural selves much of our lives
The message is relentless—we’re "supposed to be" outgoing.
We all know extroverts who work a room and seems natural at networking—constantly ready with a polished smile and unlimited social energy. This is merely one version of a fully-functional human being, yet somehow it became the gold standard.
Society tells us extroversion is the norm, the ideal, even the only way to succeed. Introversion gets framed as something to overcome rather than a legitimate way of being. How many articles have you seen offering help to extroverts to be less social?
You can be introverted, anxious and successful.
None of these words are mutually exclusive. Famous artists, politicians, athletes and more identify as introverted and/or socially anxious, and they're living full lives doing what they want to do, how they want to do it.
So why waste time feeling shame for having different wants and needs? Perhaps part of the reason we don’t like how we feel is that we’re choosing misery by asking our bodies and minds to be something we’re not naturally built for.
The world still expects you to show up.
While we’re not all wired for the same amount of social action, that’s not a justification to break up with the world entirely. You still have career goals, relationships to maintain, and a life to live.
We can all find ways to thrive in a largely extroverted society. The question isn't whether to engage—it's how to engage in ways that work for you.
Stop apologizing for your social energy reality.
You're not broken for disliking social events or needing recovery time after. You're not antisocial for preferring meaningful conversations over small talk. You're not inadequate for finding networking events exhausting.
Your social energy patterns are legitimate and deserve respect—from others and from yourself. Stop treating your needs like character flaws that need fixing, and learn to work with them.
Find your sustainable approach to engagement.
We all have limits, and we’re all capable of stretching a safe distance out of our comfort zones. You’re never going to be somebody else, and there’s more to you than you realize.
We can find your middle-path solution—ways to work with the world as it is and honor both your energy patterns and your life goals.
